Confessions of A Writerholic: 08/01/2004

Monday, August 30, 2004

Forget recieving critiques, the hard part is the giving of them. It's especially hard when it's someone you don't know--wait...it's still hard when it's someone you do know--because a) you don't want to come across as though you know it all b) you don't want to unintentionally hurt someone's feelings c) because you are reading something, chapter by chapter and might not know what is going to happen in subsequent chapters, your critique is based on your own perceptions.

And so, unless you really know that the person you are critiquing can handle the absolute, 100% truth and enjoys it to an extent(and can give it back, as well), you are at a quandary. You want to help a person reach their full potential, but you don't want to offend them or have your suggestions unintentionally change their Voice.

Also, because you cannot see a person face to face over the internet, you have to phrase your wording very, very delicately because what you intended to sound helpful, may come across as being critical and hurtful.

Is there a rule book for this sort of thing? I like critiquing and I really pay attention to each thing I suggest, but there's nothing that I've read that is really, really helpful for the person critiquing as opposed to the critiquee.

But, I've been fortunate to have some really great critiquing experiences and very helpful & honest CP's, but those doubts still hound on me whenever I recieve something.

Sylvia posted a little thingy about being excited for the authors she's met online. I can honestly say that I feel the same way. I love it when others succeed, regardless of personal run-ins or whatnot. I've always been like that; even if I may not have a major fondness for someone, I am always able to be happy for something that they are good at. Even though I really want my career to take off, if everyone that I know's career does before mine, I'd be sad, but I wouldn't think it'd be the end of the world for me. Because hey, I believe that everything happens for a reason.

But anyways...I woke up at like...2 am because my head was killing me and so, I have only slept for three hours. But then before that, I went to bed at 4 and woke up at 3, so...yeah, my time is still whacked.

On the reading front...I tried. I honestly did, but I couldn't help but request a slew of romances/chick-lit from my library: Devil Takes A Bride...A Dark Champion...Elegance...Bridget Jones's Diary(I am so late, and I have the sequel lying in my bedroom)...The Duchess Diaries...Complete Abandon...etc. The only will power that I can clap myself on the back with is the fact that I have hidden my copy of Judith Ivory's "Beast" in the deep, dark recesses of my closet. I've had the book for about three months, but right after I bought it, my own B&tB idea came to me and I am so afraid that something from that book will creep into my book. So far, the only similarities is that they are both set in France! Score!

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Another late night/early morning of writing. It's a dirty cycle, dangit. But I had planned on writing earlier in the day, but I just didn't feel anything whenever I looked at the computer. And so, I had planned on going to bed around 12 or 1, thinking that I'd just get up on Sunday and write. Only, when I tried to go to bed, I couldn't! I had to write. And so, I whipped up the rest of the first scene of the fifth chapter and have laid preparation for writing the second scene.

I just feel so liberated with the chapter a day schedule. Before, I was so worried about what everyone else was doing and what everyone else was accomplishing that I sped everything up, forcing myself to write 10,000 words a day until I burnt myself out. On the positive side, it did help me lift my skills to subsequent levels fairly quickly, but by June, I couldn't take it anymore. Actually, right now, this month has been the first month since late May/early June that I have been writing on a consistent basis. Before, I would write and then I'd feel my insecurities and pressure building up and I had to take a rest or I would give myself headaches.

But now, thanks to my new schedule, my writing is really tight and fluid and I have stopped worrying about what other people are writing and am focusing on my own work--when I'm not critiquing that is(but that's fun, so it doesn't count). I'm also not plotting at all! Yikes. It's something that is really scary, but once I let go of myself and my fears and just let this stuff come out, my writing and the pacing and everything has been better than ever. Now, I'm full of chagrin when I look at the stuff I wrote during the first half of this year,LOL.

Right now, I miss the gothic romance. Not that paranormal stuff or "romantic suspense", but THE gothic: spooky house, orphaned or alone female, enigmatic hero who she thinks is trying to kill her. I love them to death! They were the very, very first books I read from the adult fiction section of the library and they will always, always be my "first love". But now, it is so hard to track them down in order to own a copy unless it is Victoria Holt novels(and I own a good amount of her books) and then, some of the writers are still alive, but because they have been writing since before the internet era you can't track them down!

That is what needs to be made: some sort of database where you can track down authors who wrote in the 70's & 80's & early 90's but have disappeared and may still be alive.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

I'm still up as you can see, and haven't gone to sleep yet. I had planned on it after coming home from my grandmother's house at 3 something AM. But then, when I got into bed, I felt the need to pick up the bio of Empress Josephine that I had checked out from the library(I checked out alot of non-fiction on my last visit) and then, as I was reading it, my mind began to race on the story I have been working on. I hadn't written anything since Tuesday because I wasn't really in the mood do to emotional circumstances.

But anyways, I got over my aversion to turning my computer on and finished up the fourth chapter and got a start on the fifth chapter. I must say, that I am also in the midst of plotting this stupendous and hilarious historical set in 1890's Paris(chapter by chapter on notecards,BTW), so that sort of distracted me as well.

But to get back to the grandmother thing. My grandmother is not a very nice person...I would even say...that she is close to...*gulp* evil. She's getting better thank the Lord, but after living with her for two-three years, I am still leery of being around her. Her sister flew in from Kansas City and because my great-aunt hadn't seen me since I was a baby and has never seen my younger brothers(my family is...scattered. I didn't even know my mom had parents and siblings until her father died and then when we flew out to CA when my mom worked at US Airways), my grandmother wanted us to come over.

Now, now that we don't live with her anymore, the thought of visiting her house makes me feel like Lorelei attending the weekly Friday dinners at the Gilmore house. LOL. But after a few hours of being there and watching these hilarious filmed plays by a man named Tyler Perry, I was more relaxed. Of course, farewells are always awkward because my brothers and I are not fans of Grandmother. But whatever...

Anyways, I found this link; to an article about big publishers and little to no publicity. I was just talking to my mom about this the other day and how it doesn't make sense to throw tons of money behind someone who is a guaranteed seller and not behind the newcomers...and then they wonder why people don't sell through...sad!! But the article brings some perspective in and is interesting.

But right now, I'm a bit tired, and I'm also a bit mad because I won't be able to watch the VMA's(an annual ritual!!) because we haven't had cable for nearly two months...the tv gets the normal old Fox,WB,UPN..etc...but nothing else. At least I can watch Passions now that the Olympics are over.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

I deleted the negative posts from my blog because they were beginning to make me feel as though I was Wordsworth to everyone else's Shelley. You know, the author from the early/mid 18th century who found vast enjoyment in slamming others works in newspaper reviews without even reading them. LOL!

But anyways, I am in the midst of reading Lord Byron's Jackal by David Crane--which is the life of Edward John Trelawny, a man who tranformed himself from disollusioned youth into a Byronic hero and scammed his way into Lord Byron's inner circle. He is a fascinating character to read from the Regency era and an inspiration for a possible book. But I'm not going to develop it because I'm trying to stay away from the Regency era at the present.

I am also in the midst of reading two other books: Sex & Subterfuge: women writers to 1850 and Belle Epoque: Paris in the Nineties. One for pleasure and the other for research. I am on a quest to become more cultured. As a young, biracial woman that was raised in a upper-lower class/lower-middle class home there isn't too much opportunity for someone like me to become exposed to the classics and literature that someone who was raised at a higher income level might be exposed to. Not to say that all people born rich know lots of things, they just have a more polished veneer because of their heritage.

I am saddened that not only is literacy and the love for reading is declining, but that kids in inner city neighborhoods and schools don't have the opportunity to expand their mind. My cousin's cousin is from the rough part of St. Louis and she told me that the teachers there don't care a whit about their students and whether they are learning or not. They just want their paychecks. Yes, inner cities have a reputation for not valuing education, but if you don't have a passion for teaching and wanting to get through to kids who wouldn't normally care, why would you teach?

While I didn't love school, I love to learn things and to question things. As a young child, I have always had this fascination for travel and knowing how other people go about their daily lives. I never wanted to stay inside of the box and rest inside of my comfort zone. And I don't think I ever will. Yesterday, I went to a non-profit organization that helps others find funding for non-profit organizations and I was dumbfounded by the amount of money given away. And then I was motivated.

I want to become a published author. Not only because I enjoy it, but because I want to show my people that there are other things out there besides what they are used to. It's rare that a young person wants to write and likes to read, and it's even more rare that a person of african-american descent wants to write and likes to read. I'm toying with the idea of starting some sort of program to promote literacy and writing and the arts(another love of mine) to people who mayn't have the opportunity to be exposed to different things.

On the writing front, I am very pleased at how well it's going. After I deleted 20 some pages, the story is dynamite. According to my CP's, my dialogue is sparkling and my prose is very deep, so I am going to play up my strong points and forge on. I also shut down a good portion of my website because I want to switch my focus from the internet and into the real media. I also went to B&N and took the opportunity to read Julia Quinn's When He Was Wicked. I'd heard mixed things about it, but I enjoyed it emmensely. It was a change of pace from a "regular" JQ novel, but it was touching and sensual.

But back to the bookstore. I was in the romance aisle for about 5 hours, reading WHWW and I was also observing the different people who walked up and down the aisle. In the B&N that I was in, a shelf had some fantasy/sci-fi on it that had spilled over from the other aisle, so of course some men happened to wander down the romance aisle. And of course, they didn't stop. But I saw them looking and the question someone had popped about men that do read romances and why most men don't leapt into my mind. As for the women, alot of them would walk up and down the aisles before choosing best-sellers. I didn't see anyone picking up new authors at all--yikes. A couple of women wandered up and down the aisles and then left without buying anything, and later, I saw them in the fiction/literature section looking at things. The younger people that wandered by didn't even look, and if one did, they picked up a chick-lit novel. But most of the younger women that walked through turned the corner and headed for the fantasy aisle.

I had noticed too that B&N had shelved quite a few Cheek erotic romances in the romance section. Then I got up and wandered through the fiction/literature aisles after I was finished with WHWW and saw that there were quite a few chick-lit novels sandwiched between regular fiction, and a few fiction books that could have been in the romance aisle. Of course, this is only one day's observation in one B&N in the greater Sacramento area, but it was interesting to see what people were buying--and weren't buying.

I happened to garner a few interested looks from patrons as they passed me by, most likely because of the section I was sitting in, my age and my ethnicity. I do wonder though, whether I should seriously pursue my idea of whipping up a survey to ask of people in romance aisles of book stores in order to gain some sort of data on what people are buying, what they are looking for, etc, etc. I am curious as a writer, but also as someone who is always interested in other people and how they think--I am a people watcher, you know.(aka Nosey!)

Monday, August 23, 2004

Yesterday, for just a few moments, I quit.

I turned off my computer, tossed all of my craft books in the closet--romances as well--and quit.

I was so frustrated and uninspired by the story I was working on that I was afraid that this was not what I was meant to do. And so, I quit.

But then, I had to go someplace quiet and meditate and push aside all of my frustrations and even just thinking about writing, and just dwelled.

And then today, when I woke up, I was able to see that half of what I had written was all wrong. So I cut nearly 5,000 words out of my MS and am starting at least three or four chapters from scratch.

I do love what that happens, even if I hate when I get to that frustrated point. And guess what else came out of it!? This spectacular idea that is set in futuristic San Francisco that is like Buffy meets Highlander. And then another idea came at me when I was flipping through--of all things--my Mom's Bible. It's so crazy because the story idea is set in Civil War West Virginia, and I just had this image flash through my mind of a runaway slave woman guarding her house in the Appalachian Mts from a deserting Union Officer. It's less of a romance, as historical fiction with romantic elements, but I'm up for the challenge. You never know, it may be the next Cold Mountain.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Testaments to my procrastination:

Sex Advice from romance novelists

What Would Buffy Do?

I'm also critiquing, so that's like...30% getting something done with writing. Right?

The procrastinating is like a residual spill today...

(The picture put my alignment out of whack, so here's what the quiz result said:
Hecate

You are most like the Greek God Hecate, of dark magic. Mysterious, and intellectual you have a good understanding of the world around you. You never just "go along" with things, and always do what you want to do-which isn't always the right thing-but nevermind! Interested, fun and generally quite friendly, you're a good person to know and a great person to have as a friend

??Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??

Even though I did write 2-3 pages earlier today...

Snoopy Dance.

My aunt, who lives in Conneticut, very, very near to NYC is asking me to come out to visit her! Not only have I always longed to go to NYC--for the fashion--but now, it's for the agents and editors.(My dream agent resides in Brooklyn!)

It has me wondering whether I could just enter a publishing house and speak with some editors. Lord knows that it would be my only shot at meeting with one and speaking with one outside of the annual RWA conference, seeing as how my local RWA chapter rarely, if ever has agents or editors visit them--I'm wondering whether I should take that trek down to SF.

But if I could, it would be a wonderful opportunity.

Anyways, I am beating myself over the head at this moment for continuing to be so hesitant with my writing. It partially stems from reading books, but mainly, it's myself doubting and second guessing my abilities and my story. My CP keeps telling me that the dialogue between my hero and heroine sparkles, and I can see it and am proud considering that I couldn't string a rational,un-stilted conversation together if my life depended on it, but I'm worried about their interactions! The last two chapters that I've written in mainly exposition and action, and minimal dialogue--in fact, there is just a smidgen of it--and I keep doubting things.

So, I am going to take a deep, deep breath and hold onto my chapters until I have at least the first 100 pages of this MS. I adore my CP's, I really do, they are insightful, honest and very helpful, but I'm such a worrier, that I begin to shut down when I get afraid that I won't meet the expectations that my previous actions have built up in other people.

Something dumb that just occured to me: There are men out there named Duke, Marquis, Earl, Baron and Knight. How come there isn't anyone named Viscount?

Friday, August 20, 2004

I'm beginning to hate the following phrases: "write the book of your heart." or "don't write for the market."

I've heard them from agents, authors and editors and I can read between the lines. What they really mean is: "if you want to sell your manuscript, write the book of your heart in a popular setting and don't make your characters too different from the norm."

They are looking for unique voices, but they don't want you to be too different from what is currently selling--which is a confusing stand point in itself.

Which is why, not only does my MS have a high concept that is relatable(Beauty & the Beast meets The Return of Martin Guerre/Sommersby, with a bit of Sleeping Beauty thrown in the mix), but I am going lie my pants off when I submit the story I'm working on. No dates, no setting--I'm just going to say that it's a historical romance, and if they press for a setting, I'm just going to say that it's pre-Regency. HA!

Because really, the time setting does not sell the book unless it is a Tradtional Regency. Other than auto-buy authors, it is the back blurb that catches the consumer's attention and then when they skim through the pages. I don't think a romance reader will walk into a book store and go "Even though the story sounds fascinating and first couple of pages have me wanting more, I'm not going to buy it because it isn't set in the [insert popular time era here] era."

I don't understand how publishers don't get that. It's not as if the spines of historical romances have the time periods stamped on them in order to differientate the time settings for the discerning reader, nor do they usually go about using the time period as a hook.

Hence, my deception! Now I must go brush up on my very rusty French.

(BTW, The Return of Martin Guerre is a fact-based story, read about it here.)

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Chapters are EVIL. I write them, then when I'm done, I know they really suck, and so I spend another day rewriting the entire thing--and most of the time, they are 100% different from their first version--and then entire time, I'm wondering WHY DON'T THEY COME OUT LIKE THIS THE FIRST TIME AROUND?

I'm still scratching my head, trying to figure that one out! I'm not really worried because I have plenty of time to finish this MS, and it's not as if it will take me months and months to write this MS, but I'm confused as to why the heck this continues to happen to me.

The first chapter was cool: the only thing I tweaked was the POV in the second scene, and everything was fine; but writing the rest of the chapters is like...towing rocks up a steep hill. Tedious. Of course I want my work to be as perfect as can be, and I don't mind reshaping it to be really great, but it is sooooooo freakin annoying and I wonder whether anyone else goes through this.

UGH

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

I want to help the victims of the hurricane in Florida somehow, but I have no money! The first thing I saw when I signed onto AOL today was that people don't have any food. As someone whose gone hungry a few times, I feel for them. I think I'll surf on the web for some sort of donation site of some sort.

But, Wow! A few responses to my earlier post about the RWA. I am such a reactionary and revolutionist. I rarely get on a soapbox about every little thing, but when I do, I want to change things and shake things up. It's a quirk, I guess. I should join the RWA...and run for president! Mwuahaha. Just kidding, I don't think everyone would want to be run by a "kid".

I wrote the fourth chapter. As Ann Lamott said: Bird by Bird, and that is how I'm writing this. Not only does it make my chapters tighter and keeps my focus on what is happening one chapter exclusively--therefore enabling me to not go off into my usual unknown tangents--it keeps me from procrastinating throughout the day over writing a set amount of words.

Now, I was on Lori Foster's message board, and Kate Duffy says that you can pitch novellas to her. Well isn't that interesting. Besides the whole Brava contest, I think that it's neat to have the opportunity to pitch a novella as opposed to a full length novel. I wonder if it's only allowed for Brava, and not just for regular Kensington ST's.

And if you haven't joined Charlotte Dillon's RWC list, you should, it has over 900 members and the topics range from craft, to writing woes, to rejections, and talk prompts like the one I refrenced earlier. That topic is still going strong and surprisingly, quite a few people have said that they are fed up with the romance genre, because it is too stifling for what they write. I say, market your book as fiction and let it roll. The genre is a bit stifling, but if you really want to be published, you have to know how to get around things. Me, I am going to send a copy of the article about the Sofia Coppola movie with my submissions, because according to Evan Marshall, the main reason why historical genres close is because of the slim to none chance that the book could become a movie. And if the book is set in a location that would be very expensive, the book will be nixed. That isn't a guarantee of selling a book that isn't set in a traditional setting, but it's good advice anyways.

Joely Sue Burkhart posted her goals for the end of 2004, and I thought that I'd post mine. They are in order of what I want to happen, but not in order of probability. But hey! I say, aim high, shoot high, and be high. It is a short list, but accomplishing them are worth more than 10 small goals, IMO.

Drum roll, please:

1. Finish Beauty At Midnight, critted, revised; the whole kit and caboodle
2. Obtain an agent
3. Sell to a publisher

Numbers 2 & 3 are hopefully with my dream agent and publisher/editor, and are 10% optional by December 31,2004, but I want them to happen and I am working on it happening. I really want to obtain an agent because then, I can have time to work on my paranormal/historical idea that I have been saving for quite some time.

*SIGH* I, like Elizabeth George, have a love/hate relationship with writing. It is so much fun to create a world of your own, but sometimes, it's so hard that I hate it. But I can't give it up, it'd be equivalent to cutting off my fingers(which, incidentally, I'd be unable to write if I didn't have any fingers, talking keyboard bedamned.)

A Talk Prompt on Charlotte Dillon's RWC list today, finally made me realize why I am so dissatisfied with the RWA.

I commend the group for coming together during a time when the genre was booming, and authors had no way of knowing anything that had to do with writing, the market, publishers, agents,etc. But they need to move into the 21st century. I, and countless other people are proof that you don't need the RWA to go through the steps of becoming a published author.(Not that I'm published, just that agent and editor information is readily available on the internet.) Heck, even though Julia Quinn isn't an auto-buy author, she sold before she even joined the RWA.

I am skeptical of the RWA's ploy to attract readers with their movie slides, but that is another topic. My main point is that unless you have been living beneath a rock and don't know how to use a computer to network and search the internet, the RWA is basically useless. Contests gain you feedback, but more often than not, they have confused and discouraged most entrants because of the wacked out ways they judge combined with the fact that you really don't need talent to judge them. And as for the RITA? Not only do most people have no idea who a few of 2004's winners are, I see them as an award to give out so that authors who don't have "Best-seller" beneath their names won't feel left out.

Yeah, the national convention is a chance to schmooze with people and rub elbows with your favorite authors, and gain some insight into the industry, but the info that I've heard from this past convention hasn't been things I haven't already been hearing for quite some time.

But the main thing I am most peeved about is the fact that the RWA hasn't done a thing about the state of the genre. To me, it feels as though the publishers are running the authors, instead of the other way around, and the RWA--a group that is supposed to look out for romance author interests--has done nothing about it. If the marketing personel of publishing houses continue to declare that certain things don't sell, shouldn't it have been the RWA's priority to try and refute those claims so that their unpublished members would be able to sell their books. Shouldn't they promote diversity so that authors that are resting on their laurels would have to do something to change? Because all they are doing is re-newing their membership and not changing a thing about their writing. Shouldn't the RWA be about the AUTHORS instead of the MONEY? What are they doing down in Texas anyways?

To me, the RWA feels like a club-house. Just something to belong to because you're "supposed" to belong. No one is holding anyone accountable for the genre for fear of stepping on best-seller toes and getting the big names offended. And inside of that, I feel as though most published authors are reticent when speaking with unpublished authors, for fear that their "secret for selling" will be exposed. I thought we were all a "family". Ha!

I vacillate about joining, and only would to be able to get a discount of the conference. But until the RWA takes a stand and wrestles control of the genre from publisher hands, I am very disappointed in them.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

I spent all day rewriting the 2nd and 3rd chapters. The day after I wrote them, I hated them and totally ripped them apart, writing both of them from scratch. Well, the 2nd chapter does have two paragraphs from its original draft, but that's about it. Everything is brand new. I realized that the way I had it written, the pacing was completely OFF. It's because my stupid photographic memory kept popping up in my brain, recalling the pacing of a multitude of other books that were quasi-similar to this storyline. Damnation. I hate when that happens.

By the pacing being off, the entire dynamic of the first three chapters fell overboard--and that is horrible because it is the first three chapters that get agent's and editor's mouths watering for more. And so, I am going to let those chapters sit, ignore the tiny voices inside of my head that tell me that I am doing everything all wrong, and forge on.

But last night, I had the craziest dream about this guy. I swear, I have only seen this guy on tv maybe, three times--and that was when he was on SATC, and this dream came out of the blue. My dreams tend to come like that: aliens attacking, vampire running after me, characters from books that I've read making guest appearances in my dreams,etc,etc--aka pure craziness. To bad he can't dance. All that hotness wasted on an uncordinated body.

I did have a rant about rakes and bad-boys, but I'm too tired to type it. Perhaps tomorrow!

Saturday, August 14, 2004

I finished the third chapter. But I'm going to hold onto it for a tad, just to make sure it's A-OK before I send it to my CP's. To tell you the truth, having my first chapter really liked put a bit of pressure upon my to make the remainder of the chapters sing even higher than the ones before them. But I see it as a good thing, because it's keeping me on my toes and forcing me to pay close attention to every word I type out and each scene I choose to write, so I won't go off into my usual tangents. Plus, only writing one chapter at a time lessens the pressure I had previously put upon myself to produce a certain number of words a day.

But one thing that I do love about my current work is my dialogue. I shudder as I look at my early works because the dialogue is soooo stilted and unrealistic. I don't even know how that happened considering that I love to talk and I'm always listening to other people's conversations(I am a nosy person, but in a good way *G*). But within the past three months, my dialogue switch just turned on and my characters come to life. Of course, writing historicals, I have to watch what they say so they don't sound too modern, but I like it. The funny thing is that because I have to write more formal dialogue, my own speaking in real life has become a lot less slangy.

I was flipping through my Lucky magazine today and I discovered what was missing in my life: clothes! OMG, not only have I not purchased anything new in months, I haven't designed anything in nearly a year. That is so scary because from the age of 12 and on, I had thought that my primary career would be fashion design, and I've been sketching ever since, but as soon as I rediscovered books and writing, my inspiration for design fled and I lost interest in clothes. It feels so weird because fashion has been such an integral part of my life and because it had been gone for so long, I'd felt a bit out of sorts and I think that it was the missing link to connect me to my fully to my writing.

It seems like mostly everyone that writes didn't discover what they wanted to do until after they did something they thought they wanted to do. What inspired you to become a writer and not whatever else you were doing? Was it a flash of inspiration, or was it a gradual thing? Or was it something that you'd tried and put off along the years because of circumstances(or, rejection from long ago? I've heard some horror stories about people submitting something back in the 80's and when they recieved a rejection, never wrote again. O.O)

Friday, August 13, 2004

Kirsten Dunst to Lose Head as Antoinette
Thursday Aug 12, 2004 8:00am EST
By Stephen M. Silverman

SET: Lost in Translation Oscar winner Sofia Coppola will write and direct Marie-Antoinette, starring Kirsten Dunst as the ill-fated French queen and Jason Schwartzman as her equally unlucky husband, Louis XVI. Production is due to begin in France in February, says the Hollywood Reporter. "I've always loved the story of Marie Antoinette and the decadence of Versailles on the brink of revolution," Coppola said, "and the fact she was just a teenager when circumstances forced her to play a significant role in history."

That is good news for me! Not only because I love that period and because Kirsten is one of my favorite actresses, but because the advent of this movie--and it is going to be high-profile--may tip the scales in my favor concerning my manuscript. Even though my book is set in the early 1780's, a good time before the Revolution. But it's still within Louis XVI's reign. Two other good movies for that period are Dangerous Liasons(the Glenn Close version) and The Affair of the Necklace, with Hilary Swank. Another fun thing, is that I discovered a set of tapes at my local library that focus on reinacting period dances. Yay for me.

I also just finished writing the second chapter of my MS, and I hope I'm keeping the tone intact. But then again, that is what my delightful CP's are for. I can't tell you how gratified I am with the positive responses I got from just my first chapter. And how thankful I am for having wonderful CP's.

Critiquing such an invaluable part of a writer's career. Not only because writing is such a solitary profession, but because other people are able to catch things that your mind glosses over. I can't see how some people don't have them at all! Is it a vanity thing, do you think?

The second chapter is going to be put aside for a rest so that I won't send it out and then catch the errors that I could have detected before. Impulsive me.

I also broke my rule of trying to not read romances while I write. But the traditional regency that I bought yesterday was calling me. I vastly prefer the trads from the 80's compared to todays. If you want to write Regencies--not even just traditionals, but historicals as well, those should be the template for them. The old traditionals have lush prose, sensual tone, and still possess that wittiness that they are known for.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

I'm procrastinating just a tad, staving off having to write--even though I truly do want to--by reading Alison Kent's "Indiscreet", a copy that I just picked up from my local UBS. She seems to be one of the few Blaze writers that I can read more than the first two or three chapters without bursting into laughter over how contrived the premise is. I'm still not a Harlequin fan, but if a premise from Blaze or HH seems interesting, I'll give it a try. Even though the majority of the time, I read some really crappy books.

I'm still mulling over the first chapter of my MS--I think I'll call it: Beauty. Or something. Whatever. Right after I finished writing the first chapter, it felt wrong, and I realized that I should re-write the second scene in the hero's POV instead of the original POV, my heroine's. But only because I want to keep the level of suspense high, as well as the fact that I didn't really reveal anything in her POV. So, a quick re-write of it, and then move on to the second chapter!

Okay, so I had gotten on the computer Monday, and I thought I was primed and ready to work on that Victorian set romance. But word after word felt as though it was being squeezed out like water from a stone. And I felt something tugging on my right hand, and guess what it was! It was that frickin Beauty and the Beast/Sommersby plot that I had put away for safe keeping a month ago, tugging on my hand like a dog with a bone. I already told you that on late Sunday night, I had a flash of the entire opening of that MS, and I hurried up and wrote it down before it fled. But now, I have the feeling that instead of this more "marketable" story(I love it though, I do, it's just a tad "safe"), I should be writing that one.

And I had been bummed when nothing when come out of that B&tB story because I loved the premise and the setting. It was because of that, combined with that stupid rejection letter from an editor, that made me shelve it in lieu of writing a "safer" book. Now, I'm like marketschmarket. You know? I feel like writing is where I'm supposed to be, so I'm not going to worry about marketing my book before I even write it! And so, on Monday, I revised that first chapter that I had written on Sunday, and as of today(Tuesday...nah, I had to paint something), I am going to write one chapter of this book a day.

It nearly scares me to even think that! But by being able to be confident in writing one chapter a day, shows how much I have grown as a person and a writer. And what's even more scary is that the urge to submit the first three chapters to an agent before the entire thing is done isn't being held back like it was with other MS's I've had the previous urge with. Yowza, I feel like that's some sort of sign!

Another scary thing is the fact that I feel as though I should withold the usual bout of research I usually do(even though when I thought I was going to write this book a month ago, I read tons of books on 18th C France), and just WRITE. It's pretty liberating!

But yay! The effulgent and delightful Sylvia Day has put my website up under her Top Five page. Thanks a million, Sylvia!

I just appreciate and love how supportive and positive the romance authors I've been reciprocating blogging with and email are. We are the next generation of published authors and I think that we are going to be setting the standards of how authors should interact and write,etc in the coming years. Isn't that a daunting prospect?

Monday, August 09, 2004

I am seriously considering hand writing my MS. Not only do I 1) hate having to go through the motions of turning the computer on everyday and adjusting all the stupid MS Word options, 2) the internet is too much of a temptation 3) I hate being tied down to this computer & 4) sitting at the computer for such long stretches hurts.

So far, by the end of today, I'll have 10 pages and at least two chapters, but I know I could have gotten more done in five hours if I was away from the computer and in a freer environment. I would love to have a laptop or an AlphaSmart because I could sit however I wanted and wherever I want. But those things cost money I don't have and I have to make do. On this computer that barely has any memory for alot of my MS's.

All of you people out there with comfy writing spaces and nice or new computers, I envy you to pieces! But until either a) I sell and get my advance or b) my mom gets a raise, I am stuck!

There are times when I really want to strangle myself, and last night was it. Remember that Beauty and the beast type story set in late 18th century France that I had to put a halt to because my mind wouldn't focus on it? Yeah, that one. Well, last night, it was like a frickin light switch was flipped up and I had the entire first chapter in my brain. So I went and wrote it down. And then when I went to bed, my braid picked at everything that was wrong with it. Now, I'm not going to write it all the way right now, I just feel like strangling myself because it didn't happen a few months back. Gah!

I got this from LLB's blog about her experiences at the RWA conference:
Historical romance authors, and not only those who write for Harlequin Historicals, are feeling a bit insecure these days if they aren't writing lighter books. This came across loud and clear from some unexpected sources, and quite frankly scared me as we're not talking mid-list here, but lead authors.

Is that insane or what? Is the average historical romance reader clamoring for lighter fare a la Julia Quinn, Pamela Britton, Karen Hawkins,etc? Not that I don't enjoy their books--especially the lovely Pamela Britton--but what about those authors who tend to stick with a moodier tone and are still successful? It's rather crazy to think about. And then what's even more funnier, is that apparently, Julia Quinn's latest was alot darker than her previous books--and Eloisa Bridgerton's book was darker as well. Is the industry flip-flopping or what?

I was reading an article in the latest issue of EW(Entertainment Weekly), and it was about why Hollywood isn't able to find "the next _________"(Julia Roberts, Denzel, Brad Pitt,etc). And one quote stuck out. The person that was quoted said that Hollywood isn't taking the time to develop actors in the rush to get them and their movies out there. Doesn't that sound like our industry? Publishers arent taking the time to nurture authors and are over-working their slimmed down editorial staff in efforts to produce for the consumer.

In a way, it is "our" fault. That is, society's need to have everything at lightening speed. And so, because "we" want everything right now, the product isn't as good as it could be, and then when the product isn't good, the demand starts to diminish, leaving the supply over-stocked. And then what happens? The supplier blames the market(ie: consumers don't want a certain thing, so they aren't buying it) and yanks the rug from beneath that supply.

H/S anyone? And even the ST publishers. Apparently the rise in interest for Regency romances and Regency Historicals came about during the influx of Jane Austen adaptations of 1998-2001 or so, and so publishers began to turn their authors onto writing in that period, and they acquired authors that submitted Regency-set historicals, and the demand for the supply was brisk, and the quality began to pall because anyone that could write a mediocre regency with stock regency characters could sell. And then the demand began to gradually trickle off. And what did publishers do(and are beginning to do right now?) They blamed the market(ie: ALL historical romances aren't selling well because no one wants to read them anymore).

Hm. If 90% of the historicals printed are set in the Regency era, and 50% of them aren't even good, what else do you think is going to happen? The other 10% of historicals being printed that are in other eras are either hard to find, or aren't as good either--unless they are being written by best-selling authors, but then alot of those authors have since switched to other genres or are writing Regencies. And the market keeps sinking and sinking because the publishers like the blame consumers instead of themselves.

But enough of that. I need to get off of this internet so I can immerse myself into my late Victorian period in order to begin writing today. And no more reading romances! They keep messing me up by making me stress over my own personal style and voice and tone. So, only non-fiction shall be read during the week-days.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

I'm reading Donald Maas' Writing the Breakout Novel, and it is very good. Sitting by the wayside is Vogler's Hero's Journey, and Evan Marshall's two books(I forgot their titles).

I begin writing this story that I've been working and re-shaping for about three weeks on Monday, and while it is only a first draft, I want it to be the best first draft ever so that I am able to build upon it and layer it without erasing the bright spots and the tone,voice and style of it. A few months ago, spending alot of time plotting and molding an MS would have made me bored by it, made to believe that if it doesn't come quick, it's not worth it. Thank God I was released from that train of thought. I believe that it is that kind of thinking that stumps new writers & earns them all those rejections.

Writing is a talent, but on talent do great novels not make. There is no "formula" to writing a great book that grasps the readers heart and mind, but there are steps and processes to do it, and that is what I am focusing on. I feel very strongly about this first trilogy because the premise or theme is something that I had to deal with during my growing up years. And what's funny, is that when the trilogy popped into my mind, I didn't even recognize that my subconcious had injected them with it.

So far, I have 65 3x5 cards with scenes on them and I don't even think I am at the halfway mark of my book. I nearly panicked at that, and I nearly panicked because I'm trying to follow my Hero's Journey. But I forced that panic away because, as Vogler does say inside the book: it isn't a set of rules, it's just a guide. And I keep that in mind whenever I worry that everything isn't going how it should be going. This book is basically written by 90% faith and 5% craft and 5% talent. I don't even know what's going to happen in the end! But I do know that it will fit and close the book successfully.

Another thing that ties into forcing away anxiety is my former anxiety about time. I was supposed to have began writing this book last monday, so that during the full four weeks of August would have been devoted to writing this book. But it didn't feel complete. And so I used this first week of August to push those missing pieces together. A few months ago, I would have just written the book and ignored the nagging voice in my mind that told me that the process wasn't complete. And guess what happened then? The book fell apart.

But because I have ignored the tiny calendar inside of my brain, I feel free to use however much time I need to perfect this novel before I send it out to agents. It's total sabotuage of my career to assume that because I have a natural gift and I feel that this is what I am going to do for the rest of my life, that I can write however and whatever I want, send it in even if I have slight reservations about it, and watch the offers roll in. STUPID. But as they say: ignorance is youth. And writing has helped me grow in ways that if I had gone to college and partied with my friends and did whatever in school, I wouldn't have. So, now I feel confident in whatever comes my way. Rejections? I'll be glum, but I'll use it as a stepping block. Acceptance? I'll be estatic, but know that my career has just begun. Sold? I'll be even more estatic, but I'll know that I can handle it.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Lydia Joyce posted an insightful speech about respect for the romance genre, and I began to think. I'm quoting her in order to respond.

I know for a fact that I've always had respect for this genre. If I didn't, I wouldn't be writing it or reading it. It's more than just the amount of effort it takes to write a 400 or less page romance novel: it's just sheer love of reading about two people that I've come to care about fall in love and change and grown as people in order to love each other in a healthy way.

"Recently, I've heard a lot of writers say things like, "I don't aspire to write like the next John Grisham or Michael Crichton or anything--I just want to write nice romance books."

Not aspiring to be like someone at the top is aiming low before you get shot down. It's simple fear of rejection. It's human nature to downtrod something they really love or enjoy for fear of rejection in many different ways: ostracism from peers or confidants, regular rejection from someone whose opinion mattered to you,etc. What exactly is a "nice romance book" anyways?

"Judges in contests before I sold told me that no one would want to publish a romance with "so many big words" or a heroine who "wasn't nice." I've been told at least a dozen times that I shouldn't take my craft, my genre, or my research so seriously, that romance readers "just want a nice story. They don't want literature."

Playing it safe. That is something that I've had to think about when I take a step back & look at my work. Looking back at the new plots and MS's that I have strewn about my room, most of my characters aren't "likable". That is, likable by romance genre standards. I don't see them as characters, I see them as people I created in my mind, that could be someone in real life. And as for not needing to take anything seriously, once you pour your heart and soul into something you love and have a passion for, why wouldn't you take it seriously? If you don't, it's truly just a hobby, or something you dabble in just to say that you do it(because everyone else is).

"If my book isn't the best damn thing that my readers have read that entire year, I am doing something wrong. If my book doesn't haunt my readers for days after they finish it, I'm doing something wrong. If my book--if every single one of my books--does not blow my readers away, I am doing something wrong. If my book does not affect my readers' lives in some small way, I am doing something wrong...too many writers are frankly comfortable with this kind of career. It drives me crazy because such laziness hurts us all. When you finish a mediocre book, you don't mind waiting to pick up the next. When you finish a great book, though, you burn for more.Not only does laziness hurt us, but it makes publishing houses not want to take risks. If there are 10 books a year with almost the same theme being released to nicely plump numbers, why would they want to take a risk on something new?"

Exactly. I am utterly devastated(in a good way) when I read a book that is so mind-blowingly awesome. That feeling you get when you read the last word is something that doesn't occur too often. I aspire for my own works to blow others away. Sure, not everyone is going to appreciate my work, but those that do, I want them to mull over my book for days, and be eager to buy more from me. And one of the points of writing a book is to gain a fanbase. But if your writing is nothing to get excited about, no one is going to anticipate anything you have coming down the alley.

And not only does it ruin your career, but as Lydia said, it ruins it for the rest of us. I've had an earlier rant about current best-selling authors resting on their laurels and how it frustrates me because since they have such a big and loyal fan base, they have the power to lead(my historical time eras rant ties into this). I don't understand how you could not want to move, or grow and expand as a writer by dabbling in something you've never done before.

And as with Lydia, my first books were lazy. I started writing in the Regency era because everyone and their grandmother were writing in it. I know for fact that I rehashed cliches and tired plots because I figured that if everyone else was selling it, I could too. But then I grew very disatisfied with the genre, and with myself. My writing wasn't growing at all because I was subconciously copying others and was afraid to step outside of the box for fear that I'd never sell if I followed my heart. Yes, I do have a few MS's that might never see the light of day until I gain establishment, but I am proud that I was able to overcome my fear of rejection and do something that I want to do.

I still struggle with the lure of being mediocre sometimes, especially as I am plotting this book with a heroine that is sanctimonious, priggish and controlling. In my first attempts at writing this story, I softened her considerably. But then the story kept halting because I wasn't staying true to my character. I had to force myself away from the keyboard and sketch out everything to do with her in order to make myself comfortable with writing her out, fully fleshed, irritating and all. I will never forget the advice I recieved from my senior Government teacher, Mr. Savorn. "Whenever you feel yourself becoming comfortable where you are, that means it's time to move on." He wasn't even talking about writing, but that sticks in my mind whenever the fear of rejection and the doubt that accompanies it creep over my shoulders.

Nowadays, I merely skim over the Lunch deals and market news. You know why? Because it's not important. If that story is wonderful and you know how to hook and reel that editor or agent in with the right pizzaz, the so-called "market" is irrelevant.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

NYT bestselling author Jane Green's THE OTHER WOMAN, to Clare Ferraro at Viking and Plume, with Trena Keating editing, in a major deal, reportedly for over $3 million, for publication beginning in spring 2005.

Hot diggety dog! 3 million bucks for one book? First of all, I had no idea who Jane Green was, so I googled her. And my assumptions were correct: she is one of those snarky, witty, humorous British chick-lit novelists. I don't know why, but I am suspicious of those sort of authors. *g*

But speaking of Money, Pamela Britton stated that she kept hearing whispers that even NYT best-selling authors aren't getting the high advances they used to. Hm. That is crazy. But I'll speak on Dallas rumors some other time.

But you know what I want to see more of? Edwardian/Turn of the century romances. As I was reading a book called Social Calendar, which is about the social life of late Victorian to pre WWII England, it is interesting to see that their lives were exciting, and maybe more so than their Regency counterparts. Ignoring the modern things, think about it: skiing in the Swiss Alps, India, New Zealand & Australia and opals, Monte Carlo's gambling dens, cruises. It seems like so much fun and a hot bed of romance plots. I'm already setting six books in the 1890's, but now I want to write a book set in Edwardian times sometime in the future.

Oh, and I am forcing myself away from this dratted computer in order to finish plotting. I spend entirely too much time reading email and reciprocating blog comments, as well as visiting my favorite review sites and message boards. The internet is evil.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

I would have been very, very, very MAD if I had written today, as per schedule. But I didn't, and I saved my fingers and my brain some heartache.

Why? Because, after I brushed up my skills by reading a book on Character & Viewpoint and Scene & Structure, the beginning of my book kept nagging at me. Because when I kept looking at it, it sounded better in Lucas, my hero's POV. But I didn't want to start off with his POV because he had to disrupt Noelia, my heroine's, ordered world, and it had to be through her eyes, because she is the one who has to change the most. And so, after a few brainstorms, my beginning--and their first meeting--became even more dramatic and disrupting to my heroine. And it's funny to boot. And what is even more hilarious is that this new beginning has set the tone that I wanted for the story from the get-go: humorous, sensual and witty--ie; my voice. Yeah, I can do darker, and dangerous sex appeal, but I feel most comfortable in a sensual and humorous tone.

But now, because I changed the beginning, which changed the tone, which then changed the pacing, I had to rearrange my plot cards around & eliminate some, and now, I have to erase a bit of the direction my mind had gone before. Darn, that is so frustrating. But I'm going to sleep on it, and if you haven't already checked out my newly designed website, click the link to the left.

Monday, August 02, 2004

I'm jealous. A bit. I wish I could have gone to the RWA conference, but oh well. In the words of Doris Day: que sera sera, whatever will be, will be.

I'll probably attend next years, in Reno, since it's only an hour away from me. And I'm praying, and hoping that I'll be attending as a published author with something to hand out to people. The real thing that I'm jealous of is meeting authors. For real, forget about meeting agents and editors just yet, I wanted to meet some of my favorite authors.

But, thanks to Marguerite, my website is beautiful! I also added two more excerpts onto the site, so go check it out.

So, I'm going to spend the rest of the day finishing the plotting of my novel, because I changed my mind about writing it without knowing what's going to be happening down the road. So far, I have about 1/4 of the story finished, and 3/4's to go(obviously). I like pacing myself because not only does it allow me to take my time to make sure each scene and word counts, I won't stress myself out and cramping my hands up.

But, that's all for now!

Confessions of A Writerholic