Confessions of A Writerholic

I am just in a total state of dismay right now. What had begun as something that was supposed to be encouraging, uplifting and positive has turned into something discouraging, destructive and negative. As I informed you in an earlier post; I was gathering positive messages from authors pubbed and unpubbed to add to my website for people to come look at and see that they aren't the only ones out there when they are feeling down or doubting of their writing. A few responded and a few responded to inform me that they hadn't the time at the moment. That was all fine and dandy because I really don't need them all right at this moment. But the one I recieved today just left me baffled and confused.

This author-I will not name names because number one: I'm not going to drag this author's name in the mud and number two: I don't even care enough about this author to want to return their evil with evil. But anyways, This author responded to my email-not to answer the questions, or even to tell me they didn't have any time to answer them-but to tell me this:

"Read this question again, okay? Grammatically, it doesn't make the grade, not by a long shot. Do you really want to send this to writers and then expect them to answer? I doubt most will."

That response was totally irrelevant and rude IMO. Telling someone that no one would respond just because a question didn't make sense to them is just like telling a kid that no one will play with them at recess because they suck at dodgeball. It was so uncalled for and did not make the author look good in my opinion. But it was there two responses that really got me:

"You are unpublished. You have two choices--either 'play' at being a writer, as in sending out these questions and having a website....or you sit yourself down and write the book. Writers don't talk--writers write."

"You are entitled to your opinion. Mine was that you may be wasting precious writing time, time better spent perfecting your craft and gaining what you so desire--a published book-- and not diverting time and energy to nibbling at the fringes of the writing world, such as developing a website while still, by your own admission, not having much to put on a website."

Those were some doozies of the first stare! First the author accuses me of "playing" at writing and then "nibbling" at the fringes of the writing world. That came across to me like the author was trying to cut me off from the jump street and what makes it even worse is that not only does the author not know me personally, but they have not even seen my work and is trying to tell me that I suck. The author can put it in candycoated words but that is what they were trying to say to me. Right now, I don't believe I shall ever be able to purchase and increase that author's career if they are making a habit of tearing down people like me-people that are writing deligently(and you know I write 40 pages/10,000 words a day) and are wishing to put their career into high gear before it's started.

I've gotten over my complete anger and helplessness right now, but ten minutes ago, I was nearly devastated. Previous contact with this author had been polite and even a trifle friendly, but the email attack was so out of the ball park that I am wondering what is going through that author's mind right now and when they wrote me that terrible, mean spirited email. The author claimed they were giving me advice, but to me, it sounded like they were deliberatly trying to discourage me, make me doubt my ability and destroy the idea that I had been so happy about coming up with in one stroke. It really made me remember that authors are people too and not all people are kind and considerate.

But I digress away from that disturbing topic. I need to focus on my writing. I am very excited though because it is thursday and guess what that means! Yep, on friday, I shall be halfway done with the fourth version of Darius and Maxine's story. I think I'm going to call this: "The Seduction of An Heiress". It sounds so naughty and eye catching doesn't it? But 200 words...wow. I'm really thankful to the Lord for helping me get this far and with no stress considering the stops and starts that plagued me for a month with the first three versions of this book. I think I'm going to write that query-not send it though, don't want to count my chickens before they hatch after all-just to get the kinks out and write everything that raced through my mind last night out. But have a good day everyone and learn from my experience-don't let someone bring you down no matter who they are.

posted by Angie @ 1:01 PM

I've got comments! See...look down at the time I posted and my name and there is the comments link! So if you have something to say in response to anything I've posted or just have something to say, feel free to do it.

But anyways, I haven't started writing but i have noticed one thing; when I am crunched for time, I really do get alot more done than if I write the first 4,000 words really fast and then start to think I have loads of time and waste it. Like last night for example: I started to write at 5 pm and finished just a few minutes before 1 am. I am positive that if I had started to write in the morning like I usually do, I would have finished at like 9 pm or 10 pm. And the fact that when I write during crunched time, the sequences of events are tighter and smoother instead if I wrote sporadically like I tend to do...2,000 words here....another thou there...when I make myself write 3-4,000 words straight, the scenes tend to be read better. Perhaps that is why my first three chapters are always good...lol. I need to work on that!

I woke up this morning thinking about the confidence you must have as not only a writer, but in any career position; whether it be working in a corporate office or being a fashion designer. It's not "arrogance" per se, but more of an inate knowledge of your abilities. With my writing, I don't get up every morning and stare at the computer screen and wonder whether this is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. When I read the messages in my inbox from my yahoogroups and I see women talking about how they have to force themselves to write for a few hours in order to get out 6 pages, I wonder whether these women are psyching themselves out even before they get to the computer.

A woman recently posted about doubting herself when she sees other people's books getting promoted and I thought about when I start to doubt myself. I remembered that everytime I had started to doubt my abilities, it was when I would read a "How-To" book on writing. And so I have stopped. It's not that I don't "need" them, it's just that my talent is a natural thing that shouldn't be messed with, with reading how to books that are mainly written for someone who might have tons of story ideas but don't know how to get them out on paper correctly. I'm an osmosis sort of writer. I read, therefore I can write. I know most of you won't get that because everything is a process; but throughout my growing up years, my family had practically no money for outside things other than the rent, gas and food so if either my brother's or I wanted to learn how to do things, we watched other people. I learned how to swim that way. How to rollerskate, how to ride a bike,etc through watching people. So I think that is how I've been able to write correctly ontop of my natural talent; by reading other people's work.

Back to the confidence thing; I visualize daily about finding my books in bookstores or promoting a book in various venues. And it is so real and my confidence in my God given abilities is so great, that I can taste my success only a smidgen beyond my grasp. You know how it is when you see an apple on a tree branch a few feet above you and while you might be able to touch it, you can't grab onto it yet until you gather some enormous momentum and leap really high? That is how I feel right now. That enormous momentum is my novels and the apple is my goal. And I feel it in my heart that I will be successful.

Hmm....I might have some more to say later on, but that is it for today. Go listen to Andre 3000's side of the newest OutKast album, it's off the hook!

posted by Angie @ 11:32 AM

Yay! I finished writing my 10,000 words on the FOURTH version of Maxine and Darius' story. I swear. This story has moved from London to the country and now it's set in Bath! And what is so amazing is that I started writing at 5 pm after dithering about in chatrooms and starting to build my website.(guiltyguilty)

But anyways, the entire premise of the story has changed yet again. I still have a few of the same characters in the book though(Clarrissa,Colin and his estranged wife,etc) But Darius has been tweaked a bit and Maxine now has a mother-and her mother is hilarious. Maxine is still an heiress as well, except for her fortune is hinged on the fact that she does not marry. Darius is a duke(in the first three incarnations, he was an heir to a dukedom but I decided to kill off the parents so that the kids could have a better center.

PLOT: The Haviland's are poor. Maxine has the money. A long time ago, the Haviland's and the Struthers' were mortal enemies and Queen Elizabeth decided to make them worry about themselves instead of each other by adding a codicil to their letters of patent: if there was ever one last unmarried person in the line(male or female) in either family, when that last person marries, the money would revert to the family without one last person. And so Maxine is the last person and Darius goes to Bath to try and persuade her to marry so he can get the money. Except for when his plans appear to go too well, he decides he wants Maxine for himself and he must undo all of the damage he'd done in the beginning to win her heart.


Ha! I really like that plot. It actually came about whilst I was reading a section in Julia Quinn's novella in the first Lady W anthology(you know, when Clive and Harriet marry and their surname has to become Snowe-Mann-Formsby because she's the last of the line and because Clive's family has put it in the will that if one of the names were dropped, they would forfeit their fortune. It's a neat premise)

But I am digging this OutKast Cd(The Love Below-Andre 3000's side, havent gotten to Big Boi's disc yet). It is so tight! I cannot get enough of it. Now I have to add this cd to the list of cd's I want but dont have any money to buy yet.
(Evanesence,Dido's new one,Justin Timberlake,Esthero's upcoming one,Avril Lavigne's upcoming one,Britney's new one)

Okay, so I'm brainstorming about my personal site and I was wondering what I should put on there besides the normal "About Me/What Im writing" stuff and I didn't want to be normal and put in stuff about how to get published like so many other people have on their sites and this idea popped into my head: what if my site was filled with interactive stuff from other authors? Like interviews, encouraging words, stuff like that that would help other unpublished authors like me? Because after you plot out your book and research publishers, and then you write-what then? I've needed some pep talks and I like knowing whats going on in the minds of other authors so why wouldn't someone else?

But anyways, tomorrow is new release day and I have no money. Haha. I do want the Lady W anthology and something else that might be coming out. But all of the good books are coming out at the end of May and in the summer. Like Teresa Medeiros' book and Julia Quinn's and Betina Krahn's and Karen Hawkins' and Victoria Alexander's....but I probably wont have any money then either lol.

I think that's all I have to say for now.

>.)

posted by Angie @ 11:12 PM

I few things today...

I like Paris Hilton. She may be a sort of slutty, selfish and spoiled rich girl, but she has made a lucrative career out of her image and I respect her for that.

The BigWigs at the WB are full of crap for cancelling Angel due to "not enough revenue from endorsments coming in and too much going out for the budget." That is so dumb. Especially their next statement: "Dark Shadows is worth it" Only because the producer of DS is the man behind The West Wing and ER...tv sucks...

I miss role playing. I've been dabbling into it again after a respite of 2 years or so and I realized how much I missed it.

Sometimes, writing gets on my nerves. I love it, but sometimes, I just want to beat my computer to shake out the stories I should be writing.

Sometimes I resent published authors. Not because of them personally, but because I want to be where theyre at. But Im working on my impatience.

I find myself competing with people even though they don't even know it. Like, when I was really running my Buffy/Spike shipper site(it's still up, I just dont keep it up that much), I found myself constantly trying to keep up with this other B/S site that was run by a girl who opened her site up a few months before mine. And now, with the writing, I find myself competing with some of the aspiring authors that are on ym groups. It's silly, but I feel like if I am up against another person, I work harder.

Money sucks. Because it hardly ever comes when you need it and in the amount you need.

I love cereal. I haven't eaten the stuff in months, but my aunt just bought some and I keep eating it.

I think that's all for today. But anyways, I'm writing the third version of Darius and Maxine's story. I have rewrote the first part of the story with the new plot twist I thought up and it's realy good. Now, I'm adding the rest of the first three chapters of the second version because it was good. All I have to do is take the advice my critique partner gave me on that part and Im done for the day.

posted by Angie @ 10:52 PM

What makes a book so loved by a ton of people? I'm not saying that I am writing my books just so that people will lavish praise on me or my writing--even though that would be nice--but I want to know whether an author knows that the book she is writing is wonderful. What brought this to my mind was that while I am in the midst of plotting the THIRD draft of Darius and Maxine's story, I am wondering if my sweat and blood is going to turn into the story that will blow people's minds away. You know? I sent my CP the first three chapters of my second version of Darius and Maxine's story...I think I shall call it An Improper Proposition (AIP)for now...and she made me realize that I hadnt fleshed out my hero all the way. And so, as I am delving deeper and deeper into Darius, it brings out hidden layers of Maxine and all of the sudden, the book is turning a teensy bit darker than I had proposed it. Is this my voice? I mean, I've found it, but I dont know if I've found all of it. I know I don't want to and can't be historical lite like Julia Quinn or Karen Hawkins because my stories just dont turn out that way and I know I am not heavy like Laura Kinsale,Lisa Kleypas or Judith Ivory...but the closest I think I am is a mixture of Teresa Medeiros' excellent romance study, Betina Krahn's lovely humor and Laura Lee Guhrke's tiny angst.

I kow you shouldn't try to write like everyone under the sun, but those are a few of my favorite authors. But anyways, back to the first subject. Im going to start writing on monday at least and I am really fretting over the fact that this book is painful to write. Im tossing back and forth about the plot, but I dont think I want to change it, but then it is being plotted from the flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood--to snag a phrase from DMX--and I want to know if other authors feel this way about their best loved books.

posted by Angie @ 12:00 AM

I swear....I was really feeling that I was losing my writing skills for real. I was tearing my hair out because I couldn't write anything. At All. And you know the weird thing? I was still working out kinks and plots for a few of the other Haviland books. I don't know. I just felt so out of sorts for the week. But then I went out to dinner with my family and my aunt--who just flew in from her naval base in Florida--and my critique partner Dailey gave me some good words of encouragement. And now, I don't feel as if I am drowning anymore. But anyways...Im plotting out Gabriel and Aubrey's story for the present, while Im also writing out a NEW synopsis for Maxine and Darius' story. This is going to be my third draft of this story because as I was writing the second draft, things popped up in the story that caused new plot points to pop up in the story, only in the synopsis I had written, it didnt fit. So it's back to the drawing board. Im not upset or irritated because with each incarnation, the story just gets better and better. My mom was trying to tell me to rush a story out to Erika,etc just to get it out, but Im like...no. Why should I write an okay story, submit it, get it possibly accepted only to have people read it and think it sucks and never want to read another story by me again? I think that I should start at the best of my ability right now, and with each story, my skill progresses so that with each subsequent book, people just marvel at my writing.

But anyways, I had sent my CP the second version of Darius and Maxine's story and she brought up a good point: "...You made it
pretty clear that his family sees him as somewhat
removed from the role of provider and caretaker of the
estate, so I found myself wondering--what is it that
Darius DOES care about, if it isn't women, family, or
money?". That made me wonder why Darius didn't care about family...because in the first version, he'd had a twin sister who disappeared and so he felt lost without her, but then I got rid of Blair because she wasn't working as a character, and I forgot to make another motivation for Darius. But then an idea came to me like Lightening. What is Darius was his mother's by-blow? And even though his "father" accepted him and loved him like his own, Aubrey, the second son resented him because of that and Darius just didn't feel worthy of the title or anything? And then on top of that, he's an empath and you know that men don't like speaking of their feelings,etc so he's cut himself off from hurt so much, it takes an unconventional woman like Maxine to shake him out of it....hmm..Im still working on it though...but wish me luck.

posted by Angie @ 9:38 PM

Okay, so right now, all day(well monday that is) I have been working my brain to think up Galen's plot. At first I wanted to have it be a shipwrecked in the Caribbean story but that plot wasn't working. And then I was thinking of rewriting this Cinderella type story that I had finished in Feb and work it into the Haviland Ruby plot and replace the hero with Galen. But then I was reading some posts about Elain Coffman's The Highlander(which was so sexy and I adored) and I was then wanting Galen to be shipwrecked off of some coast...perhaps Italy? Or Greece? Somewhere exotic because he's in the Navy. It's so crazy when I have all of these ideas floating down in my head and no where to put them just yet. I was wondering though, what if I wrote out all seven of the Haviland books in this one year PLUS a few other stand alone stories. When I get picked up by a publisher would they allow me to put out on Haviland story and one stand alone story a year or would it confuse the consumer? I don't think I myself would be confused, but I love my series, but I dont want to be confined to it; as in each book must come out consecutively until the ending book and then I can bring out my stand alone titles. I think that would be pretty boring for me as this ultra creative person.

I mean, just right now, I can read a research book about food through history and a plot about a female chef pops into my head. It's a plot I had started to work on last year when I was an idiot beginner and I think I can rewrite and rework it. But I dont want to be pigeonholed when it comes to writing you know? Even though I had sworn never to touch contemps, I have a few ideas floating around in my head. And DON'T get me on ideas that I was musing on for Silhouette's Bombshell line.

I read somewhere that Sherrilyn Kenyon has like 130 currently unpublished manuscripts lying about and I want to be like that. Of course I dont want to overwhelm myself with so much writing that the books start to turn out a bit similar, but I think that I could churn out at least 5 books a year if I am allowed a bit of time between writing each one instead of my 10,000 words a day regimen right now as an unpublished author. I mean, why not? Writing is a job and I have plenty of free time, so why shouldn't I spend a lot of time working at my "job"?

I don't know whether I will be as prolific as Nora Roberts and such, but I do know that in at least 10 years--or maybe even less-- I want to be a NYT bestselling author. I want to have people love my books and be touched by them--not in an obsessive way, but just the way I am touched by certain authors(Betina Krahn, Marsha Canham,Eloisa James, Jane Feather, Teresa Medeiros) where after that book, even if the books aren't always the bomb, they stay on your mind because something pops out and sticks in your mind long after. Like Alex and Catherine from MC's Pride of Lions, Blood of Roses, or Sterling and Laura from TM's A Kiss to Remember, or Merrie and Jack from Betina Krahn's Caught in the Act or Gina and Cam from EJ's Duchess in Love/Quill and Gabby from Enchanting Pleasures or Hugo and Claire from Jane Feather's Vixen.

This such a long winded ramble, but when I boil it all down it is only this: I want to be one of the best authors I can be. It's a really big goal for me and I pray I reach it.

Anyways, to other matters. Avon has this new author Kimberly Logan. I was reading an excerpt of her book and it sounds promising. Can't wait til it comes out next year. She also finaled in the Golden Heart. Sometimes...I think RWA is a rip off because it is like a little club you cant get into until someone lets you in, but then again, it is a good way to network with authors pubbed and unpubbed. Perhaps I am envious because I have no money to join them lol.

But I am beginning to get on a American Revolution set romance kick. I dont know...but all of the sudden I want to write some books set in that era. It is one of my favorite periods(the first historical period I ever came to love in fact) and I used to live in N Va and in Old Town Alexandria, I just loved looking at the old houses and the cobblestone road they preserved. I don't know, that period of Colonial America is so vivid and wonderful. Hmm..after I write those pesky Haviland stories(lol) I will probably put a hand into the cookie jar and write one set in that time.

Ok, thats the end of my ramble. Heehee.

posted by Angie @ 1:15 AM

You know what is so ludicrous? I was watching my local nightly news and the last segment was on a man who wagered his last money on the roulette tables up in Tahoe and won double the amount. Okay, that sounds a bit incredible when you dont think about how they rig the games. But then they come back from commercial break and it turns out that the man had wagered 135,000 dollars on the roulette and won double. I'm sorry, but it is not a sob story when someone has 135,000 dollars as their last amount of money. Most people dont even make that much money on a yearly basis and the news is acting like he was nearly destitute and won a million bucks....me and my mom were dying when we watched that segement. It's just too retarded.

But anyways, I lost two days of writing time because of my brother and his dumb friend. They hogged the computer up all weekend and so now I am two days behind schedule and when Erika comes back, I will only be on 30,000 words....sigh...I dearly hope she likes my changes and is intruiged by the two other synopsis' I sent her. But I have this unfailing optomism about my writing career you know. I read all these people's stories about multitudes of rejections and I just sit there and am like "that's not me." I just have this feeling in my gut that I will get published fairly soon. And I'm, not going to apologize about my feeling and my possible publishment.

So back to my current writing...I am just dreding up the first threads of Aubrey's story. I've always wanted a thief for a hero or heroine, especially after reading Anne Stuart's "Price of Swords" and loving, loving the hero of that book and then I've always wanted a "Charade" like caper. So with the first dregs of brainstorming, Aubrey's heroine is going to be a thief.

I'm still working out the kinks, but I want her to be a foreign widow who is forced to steal because her now deceased husband had came and went when he pleased and each time, left her pregnant. Because she was a stranger in a strange country who had just gotten out of war with Napoleon, she has been on her own for a long time with just her children in a not so great part of town. She takes of thieving when her little bit of money runs out and she cannot feed her children. She steals a trinket from someone and buys a whole bunch of fancy fabrics and makes some clothing in order to insinuate herself in the ton. By a quirk of "accident", she makes the acquaintance of one of the tons arrogant "dragons" and uses the womans intro to steal ton jewelry. I know what Aubrey is going to be like and everything, but I have a inkling of their first meeting and everything, I'm just thinking out the "caper" part of the story.

posted by Angie @ 11:49 PM

OKay, so I am re-writing my Maxine/Darius story and making her a runaway heiress who is "teaching" at the academy she attended for a short time when she was a teenager. Darius is still the same except that I've written his empath powers more skillfully and made it a bit more subtle. All in all, I am very pleased with what I've done with the story.

Now my wonderful critique partner told me that it is my story and I have a right to write what I want, but the main reason why I am rewriting the story is because not only is Avon my number one publisher and Erika Tsang my favorite Editor (Lucia Macro being second because she has Eloisa James--but there is no way I could compete with EJ, she is wonderful) but anyways and because I am dead broke right now and Avon seems to be the only publisher that takes email submissions.

But Dailey's comment got me thinking. Where does one draw the line at pleasing your "boss" and breaking with your artistic integrity? I'll use Darius and Maxine's story as an example. Now I do love my characters and I loved the situation that threw them together, Maxine's occupation didn't make her who she was and Darius's empath abilities-while a part of him, in my first draft I realized as I re-read it, was written kind of awkwardly. Now that am rewriting it, it is flowing smoother and alot better than before so I don't see myself as compromising my integrity for the sake of getting published. I believe that working in the "arts" is a fine line you have to walk. As a beginner, an editor/agent does not know your track record, you have no following so they don't know whether that "out there" storyline of yours is going to work whereas, if you are a NYT best selling author and you present your editor with a well written, beautiful story that is sort of out of the norm, the publisher will more likely take that NYT author's different story over a new author's different story.

It is about pleasing a publisher and pleasing yourself at the same time. Take a gander at authors who write for H/S. Their lines have rigid guidelines that they want their authors to write within. If you're targeting a specific line and writing the way they want it, a person could say they are compromising their artistic integrity, but that said person is just being a smart businesswoman/man. It only becomes a compromise of integrity is when a person doesn't have a passion for what they are doing and are doing something just because it is popular. Which brings me back to another rant that's been nagging me.

I was reading Karen Fox's market news and saw that an author I greatly respect has moved into the Regency Historical field. Now I love it, I write it and can't get enough of it but I pause a bit when I see authors that wrote Westerns, Restorations, Medievals,etc being pushed into Regencies because they are what's hot right now. I don't think I mind if that author truly loves the period and moves into it because they just had a story idea that fit into Regency England, but I worry when it looks as though the author is only doing it b/c of editor and/or publisher pressure. I fear for the future of regencies even though they have been popular since the late 70's because if everyone starts writing them and there's nothing else to read, will there be this huge backlash of people turning their backs on the genre and bookshelves upon bookshelves stuck with the books? I would love to see more authors like Jane Feather and Betina Krahn who have been able to jump from era to era with relative ease.

This is the chicken or the egg situation right now. Are Regency Historicals popular because that is all everyone wants to read or i s everyone buying them because that is the only thing out there? I don't know. All I know is that I want to be like JF and BK and Marsha Canham(three of my five favorite authors[Teresa Medeiros and Eloisa James being the other two]) and have the audience to be able to write in all of the eras/genres I am interested in.

That is my blog for today!

posted by Angie @ 9:31 PM

Okay, so I sent off another query for Darius and Maxine's story today and got a same day rejection from Erika Tsang. But you know what? I'm not even bummed at all. Odd. But here's what she said:


Dear Ms. Tate:

Thank you for your query. You have a promising concept in A PROPER MISTRESS but I felt that Darius as an empath gets in the way of the story. Without it, the relationship between Darius and Maxine works just as well, so I felt that this was an unnecessary element to a story that is already pretty interesting in itself. Would you consider making this hero "normal"?

Another concern is to have Maxine as an actress. Actresses in this time period are viewed as prostitutes, so I have a hard time believing that 1) Maxine's father would have been allowed to marry her mother and NOT be disinherited (I assume this because Maxine is still an heiress which means her father kept the family coffers.), and 2) that a hiding heiress would "expose" herself on stage when she's suppose to be hiding.

Regretfully, I am not convinced that an actress makes the best heroine in a romance and will have to decline interest in this project. If you would like to rethink your story idea, I would be happy to reconsider it.

Thanks again for the opportunity to consider A PROPER MISTRESS, and I wish you success in finding the right home for your work.

Best wishes,

Erika Tsang
Editor


I was in the midst of writing when I recieved that query and was having a difficult time because the conflict and everything justs topped working. The only thing I dont agree with is the actress thing becase not only did I just finish read Gaelen Foley's "The Duke", but I have read a few other regencies with actress heroines...odd. But anyways, I think I am going to change the plot of this book and re-send it in to her. I did send the synopsis's to Jordan and Isabella's books though even though I just have the plots and not the story written, but I just want to see her reaction to them before I write them because it is rather futile to write a book when the editor doesn't feel for the concept. It is a bit premature, but it's better to be safe than sorry. What if, I wait a month from now and I query and she doesn't like them or her email is clogged up and she doesn't get back to me in a long time. I think I'd be pretty anxious and upset because I am so impatient.

But right now, I'm juggling a few different plots for Darius and Maxine and possibly just making the magic side of the Haviland's something way minor or taking it out completely....hmm...but Isabella,Gabriel and Hadrian's stories are sort of hinged on their powers, so oh well. I'll get there when I get there.

Perhaps a runaway schoolmistress? Hmm...I am at a quandary.

posted by Angie @ 3:50 PM

Baby, can't you see
I'm calling
A guy like you
Should wear a warning
It's dangerous
I'm falling

There's no escape
I can't wait
I need a hit
Baby, give me it
You're dangerous
I'm loving it

~Toxic by Britney Spears~


Does anyone think it odd that I write love scenes and am a virgin? I mean, it's not as if I am an idiot when it comes to the mechanics and the feelings that insue from initmate touching, but I don't think it should be for "non-virgins" only territory. In fact, I find that I quite like writing the love scenes. They are bit of fun, but since I don't have intimate intimate knowledge of what it feels like(and I am not going to ask anyone I know--my mom; embarrassing, my friends: the ones that aren't virgins will probably tell me how wretched their first times where and it'll put me off of sex forever because I hate pain. In any shape or form. I get crazt and hyperventilate when the doctor pricks me with a needle to get a drop of blood, that is how weird I am. I can stand the blood, just not the pain.

But anyways, I am debating as to keep or kick Basil off of the Haviland island. His story is not working no matter how many times I try to tweak the plot or anything it isn't working. Im thinking that perhaps the fact that I forget about him whenever I start writing the H family down to keep track of them is a sign that he's an extra, expendable body. But I was so wanting to give him these two horrid little girls. But maybe they will fit better with Aubrey. I guess if I do scrap Basil(and Im leaning towards yes right now) I'll just plot Galen's story. Because see, he's in the Caribbean! Sun, fun, pirates and shipwrecks! Whoohoo! But then again, that means more research. But then, cutting out Basil's story eliminates the need for me to research Scotland...

posted by Angie @ 2:18 AM

Well she's got a hotty body, but her attitude is potty
When I met her at a party she was hardly acting naughty
I said "Would you call me?"
She said "Pardon me, are you ballin'?"
I said "Darling, you sound like a prostitute pursuing"
Oh so you're one them freaks, get geeked at the sight of ATM receipts
But game been peeped, dropping names she's weak...
~Roses by OutKast~


I had the weirdest dream last night. Whether it was because I just finished reading "The Duke" by Gaelen Foley or because I watched this special on Heidi Fleiss, but I don't know. All I do know is that this morning, I had a dream that I was in a brothel. And guess who had cameos in the dream? Paris and Nicky Hilton, Brian Austen Green and Jason Priestly. It was so very odd because I was working in the brothel and the brothel was run by my "mom"(not my real mom thank god) and brian a. green was my brother and Jason P was a former lover who was a bit crazy over me and was trying to get inside....it was so very odd. I woke up and was like "WHAT?". I do tend to have weird dreams alot though....

But anyways, I'm writing and it is like water from a stone. I know where I want to go with the story, I truly do, but it is coming out so akwardly and clumsily that I am worried that it is crappy. I know it's a first draft, but I don't like for my first draft to be iffy. But that is what my writing day is like.

My aunt is coming next week. Hopefully I'll be able to go to SF and look around. I haven't been in the city in months and I miss it. I also really want to go to the retreat for Sacramento's RWA chapter and I want to go to the panel that SFRWA is having with two authors and an agent that's situated in SF.

I don't have anything else to say today...I've got to squeeze more blood out of my fingers...lol

posted by Angie @ 2:36 PM

It seems we living the american dream
But the people highest up got the lowest self esteem
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
For the road to riches and diamond rings
We shine because they hate us, floss cause they degrade us
We trying to buy back our 40 acres
And for that paper, look how low we a'stoop
Even if you in a Benz, you still a playa in a coop/coupe
~"All Falls Down: Kanye West~


Okay, so I didn't write my 10,000 words today. It wasn't my fault. Well...some of it was, if I hadn't stayed awake until 3 am plotting the next three Haviland books I would have woken up at 10 and started on my schedule. But instead, I woke up at 12 something and my brother and his friend--who is currently homeless and my mother has taken him in for a while--were up hogging the tv and all of the chairs so not only was I unable to get on the computer, but I missed Passions for the second time in a row!Grrr...but anyways, I'm just going to edit what I have of my story--including the last 500 words I wrote last night because it was terrible. I was beginning to write a love scene but then I figured that the love scene was not working right so I am going to erase it and start the scene over again. I'm also going to change the entire first chapter because it sucks because I specifically wrote it for those contests that we didn't have any money for me to enter into. But that's another story.

So anyways, thanks to Julia Beard's wonderful "Idiot's Guide to Writing Your Romance" and her putting in this woman's breakdown of Jane Austen's plotting devices because I used the 10 points of plotting the bare minimum of my stories and am satisfied that I can write a synopsis of it all if need be. I'm not 100% done with the plotting--except for Isabella's story, that one came out so wonderful--and I'm still working out the kinks, but here's what I have so far:

Jordan: Her best friend is Andrew Yardley, a foppish younger son of a viscount. They have so many things in common--especially gossip--that Jordan can't help but see Andrew as a male version of herself. What she doesn't know, is that Andrew has been in love with her forever and is stuck being just a friend. He thinks he's content with his situation until Jordan falls for the darling os the season: Maj Nathan Witherspoon. And what makes it even worse is that for some reason, Nathan has assumed that he wishes to be friends with him! This of course causes friction between he and Jordan because Jordan wishes for Andrew to put in good words for her to Nathan.

Isabella: Her premontitions have gotten her into so much trouble because she keeps having them and then blurting out what she saw to that person. She is in the veriest disgrace when she says the wrong thing in the middle of a supper and is whisked off to her aunt's in Bath to diffuse the situation. It is there that she has another premonition that something is wrong with one of her family members and she rushes away from Bath to her family estate. But on the way, her carriage is halted by highwaymen. Beaumonte Woodbury is exactly what he is; a highwayman. No missing nobleman or spy plot here. He is ruthless and does what he does for the loyalty of his men, so he is not happy when the young woman inside of the coach accuses him of taking her brooch. He kidnaps her, sure she recognizes him from another robbery and makes her work for her upkeep. But how can he keep himself aloof--because of their places in life--when she keeps worming her way inside of his heart.

Basil: He has spent all of his life fighting to be "normal". And because of this overwhelming urge to not be seen as an odd Haviland, he goes overboard in his escapades at being a gentleman of the ton. He games harder, rides faster and wenches overmoderatly. And the result of that? Two illigitimate daughters brought to the door step of his hunting lodge by their mothers: a scandalous widow and an actress. And the only reason why he takes them is because their mothers think the girls are a bit odd and he does not want his secret exposed. Shortly after, he is commanded to go to Scotland to retrieve the family brooch and he has no choice but to take the hellions. Paige MacGregor is cursed. It seems that each man that has married into the Macgregor family has died a tragic early death. And by the time Paige is born, no man ever ventures on MacGregor land. Paige has snuck fiary tales and romance novels ever since she was a girl despite her mother's teachings to keep her from romantic folly and to be self-sufficient because Lady MacGregor knows that Paige will never marry. But the Dowager Lady MacGregor is very supersticious and believes in magic. She tells Paige that she's cast a spell to bring her Prince Charming to her house and the next day, Basil shows up.


Thats what I have. I have Hadrian's(the youngest) story but seeing as how he is only 15 when Darius's story starts in 1817, the book will be most likely set 10 years or so into the future. I do love plotting, but the writing is the meat of the book!

posted by Angie @ 4:29 PM

Okay, so I got a new blog. That other one was really bugging me and I didn't like the name or the template. Now this one, is more ME. I've been looking for something to call "cherchez la femme" ever since I saw it emblazoned on the spine of my favorite magazine: Elle. But that's enough of that. This blog had better be more organized than the first.

Yesterday, yesterday! It really confirmed my faith. Here's the skinny: okay, so I sent off an email query to Erika Tsang of Avon right, because I found her direct email address because that harpercollins one is very irritating. So then I look at it yesterday and realize that I am soooo stupid by mentioning an author that isn't even on the Avon roster, so I c/p it into another email, cleaned up the first paragraph and replaced one of the author's names that I mentioned. And then I sent it off. Here's the real doozy. I was googling all of the Avon editors to see who they edited, etc and guess what pops up when I type in "Erika Tsang"? AN interview telling what Erika likes and some of the authors she edits! And lo and behold, as Im reading the interview, she specifically says "I love paranormals and I'd like to find more authors that write them"[paraphrase actually]. OMG...I was about to do cartwheels and just cry because the query I sent off was about the first installment in the Haviland Family series about a magical family in Regency England. You can't imagine my incredulity. My eyes practically bugged out before I rolled them heavenwards! I mean, the only reason I had singled Erika Tsang out a few months ago was because she edited Marianne Stillings's book "The Damsel In This Dress". I'm still tripping off of this because, whilst Lydia was trying to figure out with Avon editor was right for her, she listed all of them and I could have just as easily queried to Lyssa Keusch or Kelly Harms. But thank the Lord above I did NOT! Now I'm just waiting for her response even though I am a bad girl. Today is the half way mark with Darius's novel and I still haven't even edited the weak spots I know are in this book. [shrug] but at least I got it to the right person.

Writing Progress:
Darius's story: A Proper Mistress
Monday, April 4, 2004: 50,000 words
Tuesday, April 5,2004: 60,000 words
Wednesday, April 6,2004 70,000 words
Thursday, April 7,2004: 80,000 words
Friday, April 8, 2004: 90,000 words

I might either finish the book on saturday and sunday, or I might just do it all on the next monday, I'm not sure.

SYNOPSIS of "A Proper Mistress"
Darius Haviland, Earl of Monteith is a scoundrel and a blackguard. Being an empath is not a desirable power for a man to have, especially a man who still hasn't recovered from his twin sister's kidnapping 6 years ago. Not to mention that his telepathic younger brother Aubrey--who took over the reins of the family, being the serious one and all--is constantly on his back about his shirking of his duties. When Aubrey commissions him to find the elusive ruby brooch that had been lost to their family in a feud 100 years ago, he decides to do something that will keep his brother from harping at him all of the time. The location of the brooch was pinpointed by the premonition his youngest sister Isabella had and Darius sets out to wean the brooch from the vulgar and brass Baron Stokely.

This is where Maxine Struthers comes in. A runaway heiress to a fortune that had caused her no end of grief, she had transformed herself into the one thing that could make her independent of anyone: an actress. And a very good one she was, having been the great-grandaughter of one of London's finest actresses. Ruling the stage for a year, her beauty and talent have caused her to become London's newest sensation, but only one person knows who she really is: Darius. And being a despicable cad that he is, he blackmails her into becoming Stokely's mistress in order to obtain the brooch from him.

But will these two stubbornly independent people find that they need each other? Stay tuned for an excerpt.

posted by Angie @ 6:00 PM